Relief Society Christmas

Last week I had the opportunity to be a part of the Christmas program for the Relief Society get together. A couple of days before I started thinking about it and what I would say, but the more I thought the more I realized how difficult it was going to be! They wanted me to talk about my feelings as I am about to become a first time mom and then talk about how I thought Mary might have felt. I talked to Jeff about it and I told him I had no idea how to even compare Norris to Jesus! Then I talked to my mom and told her i felt bad because I really hadn't sat and thought about how i feel. Most of my concern has been about how different life will be and making sure we have all that we need to welcome the little guy. After some encouraging words from my mom I sat down and wrote some stuff out. I will share it here and for the most part it is what I said but I did add a little bit here and there as I spoke er cried through the whole thing. It was very overwhelming but a great experience!

I’ve thought a lot about what I would say tonight. It has been much more difficult to put into words and share my thoughts as I approach motherhood than I thought. I believe pregnancy brings on every single emotion possible, as it has for me. Thinking about this next month is overwhelming. I know my Heavenly Father has trusted me with one of his precious souls and I could not have been given a better gift.  I also have the blessing to experience my last month of pregnancy during one of the best times of the year. We are surrounded by the love and constant reminder of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ this month and I often wonder how Mary could have felt knowing who she would bring into this world. I wonder if Mary’s thoughts and feelings at this time in her life were similar to my very own.

As a new mom I have many fears and expectations of what it will be like. I fear the unknown, I don’t know what my marriage will become, I don’t know if there is something wrong with my child that has not been detected, and I have no idea what kind of mother I will truly be. I know what is expected of me by others and by myself and I often wonder if Heavenly Father really knew who he was trusting with one of his children.

Do you think Mary knew the extent of the miracles her son would perform on this earth? Heavenly Father trusted her with his only begotten and she obeyed him and exercised a tremendous amount of faith. I can only imagine her fears and expectations during this time for her. You want so badly to do everything right. You want to raise your child knowing right and wrong. You want to be an example to them and instill good standards. You want them to be close to our Heavenly Father and you want Heavenly Father to know you are doing your personal best.

I know I will not be a perfect mom. There will be many trial and errors, many tears, and many times I will kneel on my knees to ask for help. One of my biggest comforts is knowing I will never have to do this on my own, Heavenly Father will always be there! I have already spent many times on my knees as we have prepared for our first child. There have been plenty of moments where I have been overwhelmed and have asked myself “what have I done?” Then there are the moments I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I am so ready to be a mother. I am ready to take on one of Heavenly Father’s biggest gifts and most rewarding experiences.

As I think about Christmas this year it has a different meaning. I think about the emotion and preparation Mary was going through. Now I know I am not giving birth to our Savior, but I am bringing our own little miracle to this world. I have no idea what he will accomplish in his life as I’m sure Mary did not know all either. She had many fears, she had a love of a mother and a faith in Heavenly Father. She worried about all the things us mothers worry about today. She wanted to teach her son right from wrong. She wanted to teach him unconditional love and Mary wanted to be an example to him. But just like any other mother, she learned along the way. I can only hope and strive to be the mother she was and offer all that I am to my family and Heavenly Father. 

There are many unknowns before me but one thing I know for certain is I am about to receive God's greatest blessing, and that through him I can be the mother he wants me to be. I hope and pray as we celebrate this Christmas season we feel the love of our Heavenly Father and celebrate with him the birth of his son, our Savior. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.